Syn-N-Havok

Had to share this one!

2006-09-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

For the good people at Urbandictionary.com we get

1. Cosby Sweater

The sexual act of eating Fruit Loops, Fruity Pebbles, Trix, and Boo Berry- or any other 'bright, colorful' breakfast cereals- and then vomitting the tacky, dazzling mixture onto your partners chest. The result should look similar to the incredible sweaters that Bill Cosby wore during his highly successful 1980's sitcom "The Cosby Show".

Nicole was overjoyed to receive "a Cosby Sweater" for her birthday

Some Fun Videos (maybe NSFW)

2006-09-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

Okay here's the deal..

2006-09-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

Since I don't have a viable computer at home to do this I have to do all post from my work computer which in the beginning wasn't a problem but for now I've been rather busy or preoccupied with other things to keep up the site like I wish. But I don't wish to stop all together so I'm going to change the format a little.

I'm not going to be doing a write up each week on a site. Instead I'm going to to just give you the websites to check out with warnings on the NSFW ones and a short description and let ya'll fall face first into them. And there will be more one than one a week and it will range from weird sites to videos, articles, and whatever else I come across and feel the need to share.

So feel free to give us feedback on the sites, ask questions, tell us you hate us.

Yeah! I'm not dead!

2006-08-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

That's right folks. Not dead, just been extremely busy lately. Stupid job making me work. But that's how it goes.

I'll be finding a new site for everyones enjoyment so be sure to check on Fun with tht Internet later on.

But until then the guys from Flyingsquidstudios.com bring us another episode in The Skeletor Show!

Flesh Shoe

2006-07-28T07:23:00.000-07:00

Okay so it's actually made of latex but it looks real and it pulsates. If you want to read more about it go here.

Who knew a toilet seat cover could do so much!

2006-07-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

Mac vs. PC parody

2006-07-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

Time to get your minds out of the clouds and back in the gutters where they belong!

2006-07-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

This is a link to the top 10 unintentionally worst URLs.

http://independentsources.com/2006/07/12/worst-company-urls/

Catchy Ain't it! (NSFW!!)

2006-07-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite flashes

2006-07-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Hehe, I like this.

2006-07-05T08:12:00.000-07:00

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

OH GOD! NOT PICKLES!

2006-06-30T08:22:00.000-07:00

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Yes there is a fear of anything and everything. This woman has a fear of pickles. Apparently it's their shape....

I must say I wish I would have seen this episode because apparently there was a woman afraid of birds, another afraid of mustard, and yet another afraid of ballons.

OH GOD!!!! KEEP THE PICKLES AWAY!

2006-06-30T08:19:00.000-07:00

And this is why we don't take candy from strangers, kids!

2006-06-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

Umm.... yeah...

2006-06-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

The Points Games

2006-06-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

Now I'm sure everyone has heard of and joked about the points game. You know the one I'm talking about. The game you play when you're driving down the road and there are dip shits in the way or on the side of the road and either you or a friend makes the comment "10 points if you nail the one in the red!" And you play like you are actually going to give them a nice ramming or at least a little nudge. Now usually the way the game is played is that the person you are "aiming" at is of another ethnicity and depending on how difficult the mark is depends on how many points you would receive for the tag.

Well the other day I almost played the game for real, and not on purpose either. And even though we joke about it all the time and sometimes come fairly close depending on how much a dumb ass the person in the way is being, I would have been the first among my friends to actually receive points for an actual hit.

This is what happened. I'm driving home from work on Wheatley, minding my own business, actually talking to my boyfriend on the phone when I happend see the dumb ass shoot across an intersection on his bike. Now I know what you're thinking. I was on my cell phone and not paying attention. Not true, though. Yes I was on my cell phone, but I can actually multitask. It is actually possible for me to talk on the phone, drive, and pay attention all at the same time. Shock and amazement, I know. But I actually think the fucker was trying to get hit! Honestly, it's not like I was poking down the road and he had ample amount of time to cross. Trust me if I hadn't hit my brakes I would be picking bits of the dumb fuck out of my grill still. Let's just say that it's a good damn thing that I do pay attention when I talk on the phone and drive or we would be less one more dumb ass.

Although come to think about it, that might be a good thing. Think of it as survival of the fittest. At least his friend has since enough to not try to cross the street. Yes that's right he was with a friend, but he had the good sense to not try to dart out in front of a fast moving car. I'm sure he shit his pants for his friend. Of course, I'm sure his friend shit his pants too. Skid marks and brown stains all around.

It's fuckers like him that make me want to stop my car, get out, and beat some sense into them. Or at least just go ahead and hit them. Let them get a broke arm or leg then maybe they'll learn not to dart out into traffic. Because I don't know about you but I'm not going to try to dart across traffic on Wheatley at 5:30. Sure there are the occassional gaps in between traffic but guess what! That wasn't one of them.

God! Sometimes I really wish that vehicular manslaughter was not a crime. Talk about population control.

Hehe, balls

2006-06-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture!

2006-05-30T14:18:00.000-07:00

Oh and FYI the llama song is working again! YEA!

The bastards took my happiness away!

2006-05-29T16:02:00.000-07:00

So since it's been a long weekend I haven't check the page. Neglect, I know but all I have to say for myself is "YEA SEX!"

Anyway, upon viewing the page I noticed that my happiness has been stolen. Yes, the llama song is no longer working for some odd reason. And I would take it off but here's to hoping that they bring it back.

Hopefully I'll get to updated and causing chaos later in the week.

Seacrest out!

Ummmm.....

2006-05-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

I really don't know if this is supposed to be art or if you are actually supposed to wear it. Either way it's still... special.

The Wanker Song

2006-05-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

Song by Ivor Biggun

Stephen Lynch's "See You In Hell"

2006-05-17T08:35:00.000-07:00

This is a video by comedian Stephen Lynch about necrophilia.

Always glad to help a brother out!

2006-05-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

Okay so I'm cruising around the internet on my lunch break and come across this website.

http://www.avirginsplea.com/

Now it may just be a farce but if not the least we can do here at Syn and Havok is to help the brother out some.

Here's the deal the poor guy found out his fiance (who had made a vow with him to stay chaste until their wedding night) was cheating on him 6 months prior to their wedding. So now that he is a single lad again he's on a quest to get laid. He made a bet with one of his female friends that if he can get 5 million hits in 30 days she'd help him out with his situation.

So everybody from as many computers as possible visit the site and shoot the count up.

Brother needs to get laid!

You can also visit his myspace page:

http://www1.myspace.com/avirginsplea

Hard Gay

2006-05-02T07:26:00.000-07:00

All that needs to be said is that this from a Japanese varity show.

It makes me happy!

2006-04-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. Not a street I want to go down.

2006-04-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

The Problem to Mens Aim Is Finally Solved!

2006-04-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

Okay guys if you can't make these urinals then your screwed!

The Real Quesiton is Who Hasn't Seen This By Now!

2006-03-29T12:31:00.000-08:00

The is what happens when you inbreed people! Leave your relatives alone or you will become a crazy black man decked out in a kevlar vest who thinks his heratige is Irish all the while holding a "magical flute" made out of PVC pipe that is 1,000 years old.

And no this is too insane to be made up!

Ahh! I Love T-ShirtHell.com

2006-03-29T07:49:00.000-08:00

Check them out! Just click the link at the bottom of the page!

The Definition of Irony

2006-03-27T12:44:00.000-08:00

Sweet Revenge!

2006-03-24T09:03:00.000-08:00

So after hearing the news about Isaac Hayes obviously I had some issues with it but as I was watching an old rerun of South Park a commercial ran advertising the first episode or the new season titled “The Return of Chef”. I thought to myself “What the hell!” I though Isaac quit thus meaning no more Chef. So I decided to be sure to watch this episode to find out what the fuck was going on.

Wednesday night rolled around and I turned my TV to Comedy Central. As I began to watch I realized that while Chef is gone he definitely was not dead. Yet.

Since Parker and Stone we did not have Isaac to read his part, they decided to use a soundboard so that Chef could get a proper send off. Yes Parker and Stone chose to Hayes out of his contract but he had to realize that it would end quietly or at least with out a few comments of their own.

As the episode continued I began to laugh harder and harder at what Parker and Stone put together. They just had to take one last jab at Isaac and his “religion”.

In the episode, they repeatedly took jab after jab at Chef’s “fruity little club” that he joined and became brain washed by. There is even a reference to aliens and eternal life through energy. (If you didn’t watch the scientology episode you might not get this.) The children try to save their lost friend but in the end he tries to return to his club but falls to his death, has his face ripped off by a mountain lion, and becomes ripped in two by a bear eviscerating him. What a proper send off! Yes Parker and Stone effectively mocked Isaac religion (yet again) and killed him off.

The guys are geniuses!

However, at the close of the show the “fruity little club” was able to bring Chef back to life by turning him into Darth Chef. So what does this mean for the character of Chef? Only time will tell, but I have a feeling we will be seeing a lot more scientology spoofs.

It's all about the sign placement!

2006-03-24T07:15:00.000-08:00

Jesus is watching you...

BUY PORN!

It's official!

2006-03-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

Hell has frozen over!

So Long Chef

2006-03-15T12:02:00.000-08:00

News Article from MSN

“Isaac Hayes Quits 'South Park'
Mar 13, 4:33 PM EST
The Associated Press

NEW YORK -- Isaac Hayes has quit "South Park," where he voices Chef, saying he can no longer stomach its take on religion.

Hayes, who has played the ladies' man/school cook in the animated Comedy Central satire since 1997, said in a statement Monday that he feels a line has been crossed.
"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist said.

"Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored," he continued. "As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices."

"South Park" co-creator Matt Stone responded sharply in an interview with The Associated Press Monday, saying, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians."

Last November, "South Park" targeted the Church of Scientology and its celebrity followers, including actors Tom Cruise and John Travolta, in a top-rated episode called "Trapped in the Closet." In the episode, Stan, one of the show's four mischievous fourth graders, is hailed as a reluctant savior by Scientology leaders, while a cartoon Cruise locks himself in a closet and won't come out.
Stone told The AP he and co-creator Trey Parker "never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin."
More on: Isaac Hayes | Matt Stone | Trey Parker

Copyright 2006 Associated Press. All rights reserved.”

This is the article that I stumbled upon today while perusing the internet. Now I’m usually not one to rant and rave about things that actually holds meaning. At least not here but this is just one of those things I can’t let go. One because it’s so easy and two because it’s infuriating.

If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a hypocrite! I had to grow up in a Southern Baptist church that was full of them. And yes I do realize the world itself is full of hypocritical people. Yet, it would drive me crazy to see these people out doing all kinds of “sinful” things on Saturday night and then on Sunday they act like the perfect little Christian. That’s a bunch of shit! If you’re going to do it, do it! Or at least after you do it and feel bad about it don’t do it again. Don’t play the role one place and a different role somewhere else. Hypocritical bastards!

But I digress.

I’ll have to say that I agree with Matt Stone and Trey Parker on this one. Good ole Isaac never had a problem making fun of every other religion under the sun, but when it hits too close to home he wigs out, quits and “claims” that he just can’t take the religious intolerance any more. What a puss!

First of all that episode, “Trapped in the Closet” was really funny (I still make cracks about it) and what made it even funnier was that it’s based on truth. I’m sorry but I can’t seem to take anything serious about a religion that is based off a science FICTION book. (Yes the original book that the “religion” is based on was written as science fiction.) Oh and one that’s only been around for about half a century. What a bunch of bullshit! Also L. Ron Hubbard was known to say the way to get rich was to start a religion. Yeah this is someone I want to follow and pledge my life to.

*cough* cult

Yet I digress again.

Nothing is off limits to me. I make fun of everything! Every race including my own and every religion including my own. Nothing is faux pas! The point is if it’s funny, it’s funny. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Sorry Isaac but where are you’re “chocolate salty balls” now! It’s a little too late to claim that the religious intolerance is getting to you. If it takes 10 years for it to bother you then it obviously didn’t bother you too bad. Funny how it “gets to you” when it’s your religion on the butcher’s block. Just admit you’re being a pussy and got your panties in a wad when they targeted your religion. Or hey here’s an idea you can jump on the band wagon with the prostitutes who are boycotting GTA (Grand Theft Auto) because it gives the wrong impression about them. You can all look like idiots together!

Who cares that South Park made fun of scientology! They make fun of everything! No one got their knickers in a bunch when they aired the episode poking fun at the flooding of Katrina! Yes it was wrong but guess what! It was also funny! I sat there and watched it thinking to myself I can’t believe that they did that but at the same time I laughed my ass off at it. Why? Because it was funny!

There has been at least one joke that you have heard whether it’s racial, prejudicial, stereotypical, or bigoty that you have heard and laughed at. You might have though at the same time that’s wrong but the fact is that it’s funny just the same. If you’ve done that, don’t get upset when the finger gets turned around and pointed at you.

In the long run all he’s done is made himself the butt of a lot of jokes that will soon surface. Can’t wait to hear them!

Cyanide and Happiness

2006-03-15T07:07:00.000-08:00

I love these guys!

Bizzaro

2006-02-28T07:46:00.000-08:00

About a month or two ago I stumbled upon a website that introduced me to a whole new genre of books. So I decided to give the genre a try.

I’m used to reading horror and fantasy and anything containing blood, guts, and sex, but these books are …well, the only thing to call them is fucked up! And I love it!

I read my first Bizzaro book about 2 weeks ago and have been on a mission to find more. Unfortunately because of the content I can’t find any of them at bookstores anywhere here. (Big surprise there!) So I must order them from online which isn’t that big of deal but it is kind of hard on the pocket book considering I’m rather a book whore! (And I’m okay with that fact too!)

So my first book from the Bizzaro world was Sex and Death in Television Town by Carlton Mellick III. It was his website (www.avantpunk.com) that I had stumbled upon.

To let you understand just how fucked up the book was the description on the back of the book starts out with “A band of hermaphrodite gunslingers…”. If that doesn’t spark your interest then stay away. But because I’m fucked in the head I decided I had to see what the hell this could possibly be about.

It only took a couple of days to read but it was definitely a surreal experience. It contained everything from, yes, hermaphroditic gunslingers to fuzzy guns that came out of the stomach of a demon to a train that was living tissue to babies made of fruit to people walking around with televisions for heads. Oh and least I forget the psychic cum from a chick with razor blades down her back. Yep you read that correctly “psychic cum”.

As fucked up as the book was I can’t wait to get my hands on another.

And if you think the books are fucked up just wait until you read some of the titles. Razor Wire Pubic Hair, Satan Burger, and The Baby Jesus Butt Plug are a few of Carlton’s. There are others. Andre Duza is putting out a graphic novel called Dead Bitch Army, which I believe is based on one of his other books. John Edward Lawson’s last book was titled The Troublesome Amputee.

Like I said people they are strange from the title to the plot. But I like strange!

There are plenty more authors and it’s also a genre of film too so those of you who don’t read but like fucked up shit can try those out.

The there authors that I named above can be found on myspace and they are on Havok and I’s friend list so go check out their stuff. And give them some support, buy a book or two.

One In The Same

2006-02-24T12:28:00.000-08:00

I have a theory. I’ve been saying it to my friends and now I’ll let you in on it.

My theory is that Justine Timberlake and Usher are one in the same. Or at least clones of each other. Or kin to each other. Or something. Yes, I know that one is black and one is white but other than that they are pretty similar.

Okay let’s start with appearances.

Have you ever really looked that the two side by side? They really do have similar features.

First, they both have pointed noses. Yes Usher’s is a little flatter but well he’s black; it’s come to be expected. Punch Justin in the nose one good time and they’d match perfectly!

They both have similar jaw structure. Justin’s is just a little narrower or it could just be the pic.

Brow wise though, there’s not much difference.

Argument against this theory here is that they are neither the same height nor weight. This is true but notice I did say at least kin to each other and there is such a thing a fraternal twins meaning that they don’t have to look like each other because there were separate eggs and sperm.

Also I am aware that one was born in ’78 and the other in ’81. Notice I also left the option open to cloning and just be kin to one another.

Point for me! You can shut up now!

Now on to dance technique or movement.

I really don’t think much needs to said here but sit down and actually watch both of them dance. (You may want to mute it though. It all depends on how much you can tolerate crap.) They move exactly the same. I sure there’s a video out there somewhere that you can play side by side and they are pretty much doing the same routine. Yes this could be the same choreographer but (not that I’m a fan) I have a little more faith that Usher doesn’t need one. Plus they will strike the poses even outside of the dance floor.

Another point for me! Two to zip! I’m winning!

Last but not least their music.

You’d have to a complete and utter idiot to not notice this one. I don’t even like either of their music and I noticed it. Their music is so much like the other’s that it hurts. Now I’ll hand it to Usher. He has a little bit more soul in his but I go back to my argument that well, he’s black. It’s come to be expected. I’m also willing to bet that you could lay at least one of their songs on top of the other and they would blind perfectly together. But I don’t have the patience to find that for you. That would mean I’d have to listen to far too much shit for my liking and that would make me grumpy, so fuck that! But feel free to check for yourselves and let me know.

This one can’t be argued against really so yet another point for me! Three against zero; I win!

And just as a side note they both did come out of Tennessee. So maybe my arguments are too far fetched.

Go on. You know it’s true. Just accept it. But either way they both suck! But hey that comes from a person who has somewhat decent taste in music. So what do I know.

One Day Left!

2006-02-21T07:27:00.000-08:00

I normally would put this under Fun with the Internet but there is only one day left on the auction and I thought it best to place it here.

(Long address - just click the title to link to it.)

All your dreams come true! You can now purchase seeds and growing instructions on penis peppers! That's right for all of you food fetish people out there, it is a pepper in the shape of a penis! The best of both worlds! Although I wouldn't recommend using them for anything other than eating but hey to each his own.

Best uses that I can come up with is the next time you have guest over to eat dinner use them for garnishes and be sure not to say anything about them. Just lay them on the side of the dish or plate and watch the faces of your guest. It's sure to be a laugh.

10 extra points if it's the pastor and his wife!

And can't you image the faces of your friends when they come to see your beautiful garden and they see the peppers growing. For even more fun ask them to come and tend to your garden while your out of town and be sure to stress that the peppers have to be picked during this time.

It's fun for the whole family!

Act quickly! There's only 1 day left on the action!

2006-02-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

I saw this and just had to share!

2006-02-16T13:19:00.000-08:00

Whoring, Ain't it Grand!

2006-02-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

Yep I love it!

Since we are fairly new to this scene, I am shamelessly whoring us out! And it doesn't bother me one bit!

True we do have a myspace account that we still publish on but I can do so much more here. So to get the word out I am linking us to any and all sites that I possibly can.

Needless to say by the time we get even remotely popular (god wishing and all that shit) we are going to be really tired and extremely sore!

Yes'll we do almost anything now to make our numbers grow.

So if you find us even remotely funny please spread the word and link us!

Syn's Confession

2006-02-14T09:07:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make.

To all those who already think I’m fucked in the head, you have know idea. Just ask Havok.

I’m not sure where it comes from or even really when it started but my confession is that I love midgets!

Oh yes! I do! But it’s not what you think.

I don’t want to date one or anything like that. No, no!

I want to own one. You know keep one for a pet. Have him a little cage with a food bowl and little water container that he can drink from.

Oh yeah see now you know I’m going to hell!

The only thing that I can think of is that it must have started after watching Austin Powers with Mini Me. He was so cute and you even have to admit he acted more like a pet than a person.

Since it’s an on going joke with us we are always coming up with different combinations of them. From these sessions of ponderance we came up with the perfect pet for my fascination.

A widget!

Werewolf + Midget = Widget!

It’s the perfect pet!

You get a dog and a midget!

Do get me wrong I realize it’s FUBAR but it’s still funny as all hell!

Come on mental picture it.

When he miss behaves, you hit him on the nose with a newspaper. When the shits in the house, you rub his nose in it. You can take him for walks on a leash. Play catch!

Fun all around!

How many of ya’ll are now thinking to yourself that would be kind of fun….

And think about it this way, if you go out of town for a week you don’t have to worry about him; he can take care of himself.

And what better kind of watchdog! Someone breaks into your home and they look down and see a midget biting their ankles. They sure as hell won’t stay around for long ‘cause obviously the people who live there are nuts!
Now let me set things straight. This is by no means have anything to do with sex. It’s purely psychotic fascination.

So let me reiterate, yes, I know I’m fucked in the head and yes, I know that I’m going to hell for this (along with plenty of other reasons). But you have to admit now that you’ve heard about it and given some thought to it, it would be really cool.

The Stupidity of Others Hurts Me

2006-02-08T14:17:00.000-08:00

Almost every weekend Havok and I make our way to the mall to do nothing else but be mallrats and people watch.

Oh Joy!

And each trip we have to walk past Abercrombie and Fitch to get to FYE.

As we walk past this travesty of a store I always have to shake my head. I peer in at the customers and think what a bunch of morons!

First of everything in that store is over priced! And if you think it’s not you’re an idiot. Considering that they also own Hollisters, which is a little cheaper.

But what makes my head hurt the most about A&F is the fact that they sell “destroyed” clothing. Some imbecile is paying $80 for a pair of jeans that has fucking holes in it!

Does no body else see a problem with this?

Hey geniuses, you can get the same “style” at Good Will or Salvation Army and it’ll cost you a couple of bucks.

This also applies to the “vintage” tees.

For those of you who don’t know….

Vintage: dating from the past; of old, recognized, and enduring interest, importance, or quality

This means anything purchased at a name brand store in the mall is NOT vintage! I repeat go to a thrift store!

Plus after the thrift store trip, you will also have more money for more shit!

Now I know what your thinking. Syn you just don’t have the money to shop at an establishment like A&F.

Not true! I could but I wish to waste my money on things that help warp my mind with blood, sex, violence, and all other sorts of fun!

A&F is just a moronic way to spend a load of cash!

Plus it doesn’t help that most of the people that shop in there are tools. Come on you know it’s true.

“Daddy! Daddy! Can I have $100 to by a pair of jeans that already has holes in it and paint on it so I can be cool like all of the other fags at school?”

“Sure Honey! But first, what do we have to do to get a favor?”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting. But do I have to swallow this time?”

“Honey.”

“Oh, okay.”

I know. It’s sick and disgusting but you know your laughing deep down.

It’s okay I secure with the fact that I’m going to hell. I’m just trying to see how many levels there really are.

What Happens in Vegas is Shown on National TV

2006-02-07T13:01:00.000-08:00

Thursday, February 02, 2006

First let me begin by saying I’m sorry I didn’t watch the new episode last night so I’m only going to be covering Tuesday night’s show.

The first contest of the Vegas addition was Dylon. Dylon is a moron! He walks through the door with a dreadlock wig on and is using a Jamaican accent, badly I might add. Keep with Dylon one day your dreams will come true. And hopefully everybody’s wishes that had to endure that tryout will come true too. I’ll just settle for a permanent case of laryngitis will make me happy.

On to Ryan Hart. Ryan was definitely the most entertaining. He was also trying out for the wrong show. If Fuse had a metal tryout show he would have been perfect. Ryan tried out with a song by Silverstein. While he did do a fairly decent job, I not quite sure American Idol can appreciate it. Let’s just say the faces of the judges were priceless.

What do you get when you combine 300+lbs., 75 animals, determination, and no talent? Anthony. Anthony was a larger guy. I mean a LARGE guy with a firm belief in himself that was completely wrong. He began singing and it was horrendous and after the judges pretty much told him to go back to his 75 animals he vehemently disagreed with them and stomp off. (Picture the walls shaking with every stomp.) Beware the St. Puff Marshmallow Man will eat you if your not nice!

(Sings) It’s a grand old flag! It’s a high, flying flag!

Or at least that’s what Haggai’s shirt scream out. Yes, Haggai was proud to be in America but I don’t think America was proud to have him here. He through butchered his tryout and then proceeds to let the Simon know that he knows eight different keys. Hey that’s great Haggai! Maybe next year you can learn to sing at least 5 of those keys!

I believe the best tryout of the night though goes to Court Jester Man. He proceeds to walk through the door, Simon takes one look and says “No!”. CJM proceeds to walk out. It was beautiful!

And we have repeat offenders!

First up is J.C.

First of all, J.C. looks like an axe murder. Apparently, last year he acted like one too. But this year, he had a secret weapon. The Mullet. Oh yes, a full-blown mullet. By alas, his secret weapon malfunctioned and he was rejected yet again. J.C. proceeded to storm off and out of the building with a look that was truly terrifying. Please keep all sharp objects away from psycho boy!

The second repeat offender was Bobbie Mae, our psychic friend. Apparently someone or something told her last year that American Idol was her calling but the judges turned her down. So this year this being told her that it was her sister’s (Erica) calling and Bobbie Mae was determined to help by becoming her vocal coach.

Rule #394: You must be able to sing, at least decently, to be able to be a vocal coach.

While Erica was not as an offensive singer as Bobbie, she still was unable to get a golden ticket. Hey Bobbie, I think your connection with the spirits has some interference.

They closed the Vegas show with a montage of bad singing, bad dancing, bad outfits, and bad hair or lack of. The best of these being a girl singing and dancing to Baby Got Back. Yes she did, and front, and side. She had everything and too much of it! It’s just frightening!

And so wraps up another episode of American Idol.

The Havok Situation

2006-02-07T13:00:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Okay here's the deal Havok's having a "situation" right now similair to the "Zoe Situation". Basically he needs to get laid!

You seen prior to last March or May (can't really remember) Havok was living on the good old MS Gulf Coast living it up or self destructing (which ever way you want to look at it). He had just gotten dumped and was running around the coast with a rathering ..... entertaining group of people.

He was also seeing (I use the term loosely) a couple of different girls (not nessecarily at the same time). So he never really ran into this problem. And when he couldn't get a hold of any of his girls there was always onic.

Let me elaborate on Sonic.

I'm not sure if you're aware or not but apparently, Sonic serves pink tacos for dessert. At least they do for Havok. He kind of has a track record with them. I think if I remember correctly his total from Sonic is 4. But I could be wrong, you'll have to ask him for sure.

And seeing how the Sonics here don't provide that service or he doesn't want that service from the ones here, it's been a little while since he's had booty calls.

Now don't get me wrong ladies, I'm not saying he hasn't gotten anything since he moved back home but it's been on the scarce side. I think he's going through withdrawl.

So here's the deal we need to petition to keep Havok here in. (Use your imagation for my definition of petition.)

It's the Keep Havok Local drive. All proceeds and donations go to Havok. Just email him here and besure to title it Keep Havok Local!

Let's just hope he doesn't erase this blog before anybody can read it!

More Idol Massacre

2006-02-07T12:53:00.000-08:00

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Since I didn’t know that we were going to get two shows this week (like last week) I’m just going to combine both of the episodes into one blog.

Let’s start with the Greensboro, NC.

My favorite from this group had to have been Sammy. Yet another one of our gender benders but with so much energy you couldn’t help but laugh with him. Nope I mean at him. His rendition of Aladdin’s “I can show you the world” (or whatever the title is) would not have been complete without the choreography (if that’s what you want to call it)! It was utterly priceless.

Gas to Greensboro: $40
Hotel: $150
Food while waiting in long ass line: $15
Making an ass of yourself on TV: Priceless

Then we have little mousy girl. I don’t remember what her name was but she reassembled a mouse and sang like a chipmunk. I kid you not people if you would have had to other people sucking helium, singing with her it would have sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Let’s back track a little. I forgot to mention the first contestant of the night. Sabrina who thought she’d be funny with a little “Teenage Witch” joke. News flash: Not in this lifetime or the next, sweetheart. Not going to happen. Her claimed to fame was that she could sing like Faith Hill. She sure could, if Faith was, oh I don’t know, being strangled while simultaneously having liquid poured down her throat. She was horrible! And I will have to agree with Simon who said that she looked like she belonged on Jerry Springer not American Idol. I can see it now “My midget lover left me for my mother”. I’d watch it! (Yeah right.)

Okay back on track, next up we have Shawna, the stripper number 2 for the season. Well not really but might but she might as well have been because she was wearing leopard print lingerie. The only thing that she was missing were the clear 2 in. shoes and a pole. She even had a sheer cape. Quickly Slut Girl to the Bat Cave!

Next we’ll move to our Michael Jackson clones, well kind of. First there was Brandon who didn’t so much as look like him (which he didn’t) as much as sound like him. But what made it so funny he didn’t think he did and couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let him through. Oh by the by he chose to sing an Uncle Cracker song. But according to his wife who is high quality herself, if her husband, Brandon, would have been in designer clothes he would have made it. Sorry sweetheart, if you dress shit up all you get in stylin’ shit. Nothing more. It’s still shit and no body wants shit.

The second MJ clone was Seth. All I can say is “Wow”. His performance (if that’s what you want to call it) was so horrendous it made my brain hurt. He chose an MJ song that I still don’t know what it was; dressed as MJ; and tried (TRIED) to dance like him and the only thing he was successful at was failing.

But the night didn’t end there.

Last but not least we have Rhonetta.

Okay picture this, 5’4”, 200lb +, short white mini skirt, sparkly sliver knee-high boots, and sliver sparkly halter-top. Need I say more. She looked like a cheap whore (more than stripper girl) and sang like an ass (as in jackass, an in donkey). She was the whole damn package that’s for sure. (You know the one you get a Christmas from Aunt So & So and you can’t wait to throw it away.) After she was thoroughly rejected by all three judges (surprise, surprise), she proceed to run her mouth and run her mouth and run her mouth about how we’ll see her again one day. But the greet thing about it was the camera’s followed her outside where she proceeded to stand right on a corner and bitch. I sat in anticipation waiting for a car to stop to see how much she cost. Or for her to just get hit by a bus. Either way I would have been happy.

Now on to San Francisco.

Since I missed part of the show I don’t know how many good ones (as is bad) that I missed but I did see some funny as shit.

First was Marcus, the “all terrain” performer. He claimed he could do it all: sing, dance, comedy, boom box, and much more. He was “all terrain” all right; all shit terrain! But are we really shocked? No! He couldn’t dance or sing or boom box and true I was laughing at him but not because he was funny. It’s so great when they’re so bad!

Next on to Deborah Dawn. Now I will have to admit, her voice wasn’t to bad, but what puts her here is the fact that she looked forty-something, dressed twenty-one, and was about 28 or 29. Plus her hair never, I mean NEVER, left the eighties. Her hair was bigger that Rhonetta’s ego, and that’s a hard feat.

But what made this episode great was the fact that Simon left. He threw his pen down on the table and told Paula and Randy that they can handle the rest and walked out. It was priceless.

I’ve said it once before and I’ll say it again: I WANT THAT JOB!

American Idiots! Opps I mean Idol (Part 2)

2006-02-07T12:51:00.000-08:00

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Yes yes this is the second half of this god forsaken blog and to everyone's dismay (I'm sure) there will probably be more.

Although I have to say, that I have corrupted at least one of you readers into watching it. (Go Mandy!) (And thank you Sarah for letting Havok and I know that we weren't the only one's who watched it.)

Now if you did not watch the show last night let me just say that you missed a very .......... (what's the word) interesting (?) contestant. Let's just say all of the other contestants pale in comparison to this one.

As the camera panned the contestant from bottom to top you see: a pair of high-heeled black boots; boot-cut, low rise jeans; a white belt; a white, scoop neck shirt; drawn on eyebrows; and jaw length, blond hair. If I recall correctly, the contestants name was Zachary and he/she was special to say the least.

Now don't get me wrong, if you want to dress like a girl then by all means do. I don't care but Zachary didn't understand why they thought he was a girl.

BECAUSE YOU LOOKING (and sound) LIKE A FUCKING GIRL!

Apparently the old adage of what walks like a duck and talks like a duck does not apply here.

*Now let me interject here that to Havok and I nothing and I do mean nothing is sacred. We will and do make fun of anything and everything even if we happen to be apart of that group. It's nothing personal; it's just funny so don't get you panties in a wad. Oh and if you're an idiot (like Zachary here) then there is no power in the 'verse (thank you Firefly) that can (or will) stop us.

Rule number one: If you go on national television and look like a fool, you WILL be made fun of.

Rule number two: If you go on national television and act like a fool, you WILL be made fun of.

And rule number three: If you go on national television on a showing looking for talented (key word "talented") singers and can't sing worth a damn, you will DEFINITELY be made fun of.

Hey I don't make the rules, I just adhere to them. (When I want to.)

Oh and just a little FYI he/she chose to sing "Queen of the Night" by Whitney Houston. (Fitting, don't you think!)

And then when he is literally laughed off stage, he says it's his/her choice of song that made him/her not win a place to Hollywood.

LOOK IN THE MIRROR MY FRIEND! It's not the choice of song! And oh yeah, YOU CAN'T SING!

I will never figure out why the ones that sound like they are strangling a cat are the ones that bitch the most about not making it.

People do you friends and loved ones a favor, if they sound like shit let then know BEFORE they go on national television. You'll be doing them a favor! I promise!

Well that's enough for this week, but I'm sure there will be idiots next week too.

American Idiots! Opps I mean Idol (Part 1)

2006-02-07T12:50:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Okay I sure everyone is aware of the fact that American Idol is back yet again for another season.

Happy, happy, joy, joy.

But I will have to admit that yes I do watch it.

Okay, okay! Calm down people! Let me explain myself!

First off I only watch the try-outs. If you ever seen any part of it, then you know it's fucking hilarious! All of these idiots get up on national television and make complete and total asses out of themselves! It's awesome!

Come on people, they are willing bait! The only down side is that they don't get hear the comments that I or Havok shout at the TV. (Yes Havok watches it with me.)

These morons might as well walk into that room with a huge target attached to their chests!

And I assure you I feel NO remorse what so ever for these imbeciles because it's doesn't take a genious to figure out if you actually have a singing voice or not. Unless your tone deaf but that's why you have friends to tell you that you suck.

If you're trying to sing and the people around you are cringing at the sound then guess what! You can't sing!

But I re-iterate the fact that at least if gives me something to laugh at.

Now secondly why I like the tryouts is because of Simon Cowell.

I WANT THIS MAN'S JOB!

All I can think about is putting Havok, myself, and another one of my friends on the panel and oh god! What fun it would be!

(Just to let you know if this would happen, my un-named friend would be 10x meaner than Simon and I hell of a lot funnier. Not that Simon isn't but you just have no idea.)

Think of this people! Would you want to switch yourself out with any of the judges so that you could get PAID to tell people they suck!

Oh it makes me so happy in pants just to think about it!

Yes this would be the ultimate job for Havok and I. I WANT that power! I want to be able to look at someone before they even get 3 notes out and say "You suck! Get out!"

OH GOD! YES!

****Steps away to clean self up****

Now if you didn't watch it last night because you think it's a load of shit (which I willingly admit) then you missed out on some pretty funny shit.

My favorite being the crack whore Paris Hilton look a like who was 16 and could sing a like but after being completely rejected tried to save face by telling the cameras that she didn't care what so ever knowing that when she left, she began crying on her crack whorish mother's shoulder. (Did that make any sense?)

Coming right behind her was the cop who decided to sing "I Shot the Sheriff" but didn't know any part of the song except for "I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy." Yes he repeated this over and over and over again until they finally shot him (down).

Please keep in mind that these people actually think they can sing and truly belong on the show.

There were many others that probably should be mention but honestly I don't have the time to get into it. But there will be another show on tonight to laugh at.

On that note let me assure you that this pontification will not end here. Think of this like a series. For each tryout episode (because I refuse to watch it after all of the non-talented people are gone) I will share the highlights or what I think is worth mentioning or actually making fun of.

So until tomorrow I bid thee ado.

The SPAs

2006-02-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Okay folks obviously I like to make fun of cars and their drivers. Today is no different.

I’m going to let ya’ll in on a little game that Havok and I like to play. It’s called the “Small Penis Award.”

Now you might be thinking what does this have to do with cars. Well whenever we see a car or truck that just looks like they are trying to hard (i.e. immensely huge wheels or a dumb ass paint job) we grant them with the “Small Penis Award”.

It also goes to anybody who thinks they are “cool” in their “supped-up” crappy car or their little sports car and revs their engine or speeds off really fast.

Yes they all deserve the SPA.

Now rest assured this is not limited to just guys. Girls can get them too. And it is not limited to just cars. If there is a idiot in the mall acting an ass or looking like one, they get one too.

Unfortunately, we have not taken it as far as actually printing SPA’s out and placing them on cars yet. Notice I say “yet”. One day it will happen. Hell one day we might have a section or site dedicated to it. But until that day comes we’ll just have to settle for shouting it.

And let me tell you nothing hurts the ego more than having a girl yell out a window that you have a small penis.

For example, one day Havok and I were driving down County Line during the middle of the day on Sat. (For those of you who don’t live in Jackson, the road is always busy and you can’t go very far, very fast on it.) There was some young guy probably about 18 in a nice little sports car that I assume Daddy bought for him revving his engine like a jackass, waiting for enough space to get a little speed, and then smashing on his breaks which was immediately followed by the slamming on of the brakes because you CAN’T GO FAR ON COUNTY LINE. Luckily for me he also had his window down. As Havok and I pulled up beside him, I looked at him and yelled, “You have a small penis!” Needless to say, he quit driving like a jackass.

Hey I’m just doing my small part to help stop the stupidity.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love to drive like a bat of hell too. However, I make sure that I have room to do it. And there is a difference between aggressive driving and being an idiot.

Now I’m sure you’re thinking that surely these people get mad and try to seek some kind of revenge. Well not really. When in a car most people aren’t going to try anything and usually it’s younger folks acting a fool. Plus usually they don’t have their window down. And when walking around town or in the mall, they are either wondering “Was she talking to me?” or not paying any attention at all. And what are they going to say any? “Did you just say I have a small penis?” Yeah I see that one happening.

So here’s the thing, if you want to join in on the game do. It’s fun and entertaining. It you’ve got a camera available, snap a pic and share it us. We love to make fun!

Zoe’s “Situation”

2006-02-07T12:41:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Zoe’s “Situation”

Okay for those who don’t know, I got a new roommate and with her came 3 cats. (Side not: My new roommate is not a douche bag.) One of which is named Zoe.

Maybe a week or two after everyone had moved in and gotten situated, I noticed Zoe acting a little weird. She kept walking around the apartment meowing a lot, A LOT and then doing this little stance thing where she stretches her front paws and legs flat to the ground and then lifts her butt in the air with her tail at a funny angle. No she wasn’t stretching.

Then it dawned on me. Zoe needs to get laid!

She was in heat!

I know it’s not nice to laugh but I think we all understand her frustration. But come on it was funny as hell. I only wish I had a picture.

She was begging for it.

Picture some girl walking up to people, sticking her butt in the air, and meowing. I’m sorry but my mental picture is hilarious!

And it’s not a cute little kitty meow either. It’s a please someone come fuck me meow. It’s great!

For here on out people when you want to get laid walk up to whomever you choose, stick your butt out and give a little meow maybe then they’ll get the picture. If not then it sure does make one hell of a funny story.

Meow!

Sex is Good and Good for You

2006-02-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Thursday, December 01, 2005

ROUGH SEX!!!
DON'T READ THIS IF YOU'RE GONNA GET OFFENDED:
A hug leads to a kiss...a kiss leads 2 a finger...a finger leads to a hand...a hand leads to a lick...a lick leads to a suck...a suck leads 2 a fuck. So tell me how many people are you gonna hug after you heard this cuz sex is like math...u add the bed...subtract the clothes...divide the legs...leave your solution...and pray you dont multiply!

Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories.
Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

Having nice sex burnes 358 calories.
Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

Take off her clothes
with her consent.........................12 cal
without......................187 cal

Take off her Bra
With two hands..........................8 cal
With one hand.........................12 cal
With mouth.............................85 cal

Put on Protection
hard ........................... 6 cal
soft..........................315 cal

Foreplay
Looking for target...................8 cal
Finding G spot ......................92 cal
I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal

Entry
Holding her..................12 cal
On the floor.................8 cal

With Different Position
Missionary..........................358 cal
Doggy...........................316 cal
69 lying...............................286 cal
69 standing.............................512 cal
Italian hanger.........................912 cal

Orgasm
Real................................112 cal
Faking................................315 cal

After "O"
Lying in Bed............................18 cal
Hop off the bed............................36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal

Get dressed
Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
Rushing.........................98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
Heard her dad/2 yr old baby sista at the door.............1942 cal

See sex is good for you

Havok

My Roommate the Douche Bag!

2006-02-07T12:35:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Webster's Dcitionary defines "Douche Bag" as an unattractive or offensive person.

That being said my roommate is a douche bag. When Havok and I talk about my roommate we refer to her as "The Douche".

Let me elaborate on the douchieness that is my roommate.

First she is extremely narrow minded. She went to the fair this year for Midnight Madness and complained about there being tons of drunks. It's the county fair in the middle of the night! Of course there will be drunk people. And this came from the same person who on a nightly basis sits in her room by herself and has at least 1 drink if not 2.

She has pictures on her walls that you would see on either a 70 year old cat lady's house or a 4 year old little girls room.

Any time any guy shows her any form of attention she automatically thinks the dude is diggin on her.

I obviously scare the hell out of her and I know for a fact that Havok scares her and we don't do intentionally.

At least we didn't to begin with. The day she came to me and said that she would be moving out on Dec 9 (this was last week so I get a 3 week notice to find a new roommate) all bets went off. Now mine and Havok's goal is to make her squirm as much as possible until she leaves.

Yes Syn is a vengeful bitch! But I'm fun and there should be some fun adventures from it.

So here's the deal I am taking any and all suggestions on what should or could be done to her to make her squirm a little bit more. And I promise to tell everyone of the fun.

Just to get the party started, I'll inform everyone of what Havok did. "The Douche" has a habit of leaving her food open. Whether is bread, crackers, or nuts, she never seals her shit.

So she pissed Havok off one night and I happen to be complaining about her leaving her shit open and how it was attracting bugs and Havok got the fun idea to put a roach in her bag of nuts.

Yes, I know what ya'll are thinking, that's gross. But it was funny as hell. And to top things she never notice the roach in her bag of nuts. Meaning I believe she ate it because one day the roach was in the nuts and the next it was gone and she was still eating on the peacans.

Come on! If you knew her, you'd laugh!

So if you want to have some fun with my douche bag roommate, send me some ideas. I have no problem messing with her.

Syn

Thoughts to Ponder

2006-02-07T12:19:00.000-08:00

used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Question of the Hour!

2006-02-07T12:14:00.000-08:00

Okay Kiddies, I have a question for everyone...

Why is it that all porno boxes are like the size of a shoe box?!

Now I know that there are some DVD boxes are the normal size but hell, when you get into the VHS they are HUGE! And I don't mean the dicks!

Havok and I have been pondering this idea all day and can not come up with a feasible answer. (And don't ask how we got on this topic; because I don't really know.)

It's like they want you to have problems trying to hide it or at least keep out of sight from innoscent eyes.

WHAT THE HELL!

And you wonder why people throw out the boxes to porn! You can't hide the damn box! You have to take the tape or DVD and place it in something else if you are trying to be discreet.

Anyway if anyone has any ideas please enlighten us.

Until next time!

I’ve seen Broke Back Mountain

2006-02-01T08:01:00.000-08:00

So I’m walking through the mall on Saturday with Havok making our usual stops at Suncoast, FYE, and Hot Topic when we catch sight of two guys standing by a pay phone.

Now you might be asking yourself what in the hell does this have to do with Broke Back Mountain. Well honestly I’ve never seen the movie nor do I have a desire to really see it but from what I know about it I just could help but think about it.

You see these two guys were both decked out in cowboy attire.

Cowboy 1 had on (of course) jeans, cowboy boots, and hat but it was his shirt and vest that made me burst out in laughter. (Literally I could barely keep walking from laughing so hard.) He had on a sleeveless t-shirt and (wait for it) a suede vest complete with long fringe.

Oh yeah! It was funny!

Funny ha ha or funny queer?

BOTH!

Now his companion wasn’t to bad. He had of course the jeans, boots, and hat. But unlike his friend he had a plain white t-shirt and black vest.

(Oh yeah I forgot they both had huge ass belt buckles of course.)

But it was the sight of them standing there together that made it so funny.

Come on people you know that if you saw two guys in cowboy gear who happen to standing fairly close together you’d be thinking the same thing. Gay cowboys!

It might not have been the movie but I’m fairly certain that it was ten times more enjoyable and hilarious than the actual film. Gay cowboys in real life are ten times more funny than watching it on a big screen.

Now some of you are thinking Syn that’s really mean. Well yeah, you’re right but I didn’t make the douche walk out of his house in that stupid as vest.

Rule #127: Any person who walks out side of their house in a fringe vest and is not going to a 70’s party or Halloween party is open to any and all criticism. Especially if it’s a guy!

Please place the blindfold around your eyes and step in front of the firing squad.

Somebody shit on the coats!

2006-01-31T08:19:00.000-08:00

I'm sure we are all fans of Dane Cook and if you're not go check him out at www.danecook.com. And have listen to his CDs and laughed my ass off time and time again but I never thought in my life that I would ever get the chance to hear or say that line.

"Someone shit on the coats!"

Last night, I got the chance. While it wasn't funny at the time, I sure as hell laughed about it later!

You see my roommate has cats and one of which is currently in heat... again. And apparently when she's in heat she doesn't want to use the litter box all the time.

Well apparently this was the situation last night.

I was sitting there on my couch playing a video game and I heard a scratching on the other side of the room. By the time I looked over to see what she was doing she had already done the deed on my leather coat.

The beating ensued.

I proceed to get a paper towel and clean the shit up as I gagged at the horrible smell of cat feces.

Now like I said at the time I was hot! But I started to cool down and those words crept up in the back of my mind: "Somebody shit on the coats!" It was all over from there. I started laughing my ass off.

Rest assured people, Zoe is alive and uninjured. She's just a little skitish of me right now.

Bored? Wanna have some fun?

2006-01-30T08:38:00.000-08:00

Hello All!

So let's say your out in public and you're really hyper and trying to figure out a couple of ways to have some fun. Well kiddies, have I got some ideas for you.

(Now keep in mind that if your the type of person who cares what others think then this would not be a good idea for you.)

One of Havok's and my favorites is "I put my (insert body part here) on you". Now this games changes depending on sex but it's diffinitely fun to play on unsuspecting friends. Randomly walk up to your friend and place your boob, butt, or crotch on whatever part of their body that you can reach. Be sure to state "I put my ___ on you" loudly. When they give you a funny look and begin to walk off try to stay attached to them for as along as possible before they try to hit you. It's best if you're around a large group of people.

A classic but a goodie is the ever popular "Penis Game". For those of you who don't know this game, it's very simple. While out in public, let's say....... Wal-mart, one person randomly says "penis" and then the friend counters just a little bit louder until your are pratically screaming or asked to stop by a manager and asked to leave.

Another fun game to play is "Mom Likes Me/You Better". You have to choose the appropriate time to play this one, like when you're checking out or in an elevator because if not it just gets wasted on deaf ears. This one is fairly simple also but you need to be quick minded. Just randomly spout out to a friend that mom likes you better and your friends replies something like "that's because I'm cuter" or something. Keep it up back and forth and eventually "the one mom likes better" needs to say that "well at least the milk man's (or pool man, garabage man, pizza man, etc.) not my dad". You can then end the conversation there, walk off, or continue on talking, but be sure to sneak a peek at the people around you. The faces are always priceless!

Another one of our favorite games is the "Blessing Game". This one I wouldn't recommend you do to strangers but around them is fine. All you need to do is randomly slap a friend on the forhead and say loudly "You are blessed!" The best thing is for all the people playing to "bless" each other randomly and it usually results in slapping back and forth continuely, but you'll either have people quickly walking away from you or laughing histerically with you.

Also if you really want to get into a game go to your computer and type up an "award" saying:

SMALL PENIS AWARD

You have received this award because you vehicle either is higher, flashier, or loudier than most others in this lot. Or you feel it necessary to drive like an asshole.

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE A SMALL PENIS!

Now I know what you're thinking, there's no way of knowing for sure that it is a guy or girl driving the car but what does it matter and it's funny as hell! Be sure to place the "award" face up under the windshield wiper for all to view! But be careful not to get caught placing the flier on the car, it may just lead to voilence which could be bad..............

Anyway those are a few of our favorite games. I hope that those of you who choose to play along enjoy!

Until next time!

Syn

The Media Part 2

2005-10-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

Now you would have thought I would have gotten all my ranting out on the first post. However, I saw something on the news this morning that really irritated the hell out of me.

As I was getting dress, I was watching the news (I know, it does happen from time to time) and they were talking about the bird flu and how many people it would/could kill if it became rampant and how many people die from the regular flu strand each year (in the U.S.).

Okay first the amount of people who die in the U.S. each year due to the flu are either young (and I'm talking young) children and the elderly. If someone in between those ages die it is because they suffer from another illness or disease that causes their immune system to be low. (I know what I'm talking about b/c I worked in a doctor's office for five years.)

Now to the comment about how many the flu killed in the 1800s and early 1900s. Think about it, it was the damn 1800s and 1900s there were no vaccines or medication designed especially for the flu back then. Of course people are going to die. People die from the common cold back then too! Come on use your brains! We have great technology now that produces drugs that help to prevent these things and make us better quicker.

Now on to the bird flu. Has no one else noticed that the countries that this seems to be a problem in are poor countries who can't afford the medicine need? Come on we are in America! If and I mean IF the bird flu makes it here do you honestly think that we won't have any medicine to either prevent or to heal us? Quit freaking out about it!

If everyone would just take a step back and think about it for a minute they would realize it's not that big a deal. But like I said people blindly watch the news and believe that the media would never lie to them. And yes when you leave out important facts it is lying.

So in conclusion people think about what you see and make up your own minds.

Syn

The Media

2005-10-12T10:31:00.000-07:00

First of all let me say that I'm not saying that the media is bad but I'm not saying it's good either. It just seems to me that every time there is some sort of crisis, the media has to put a hand in which usually makes the situation worse or they cause the situation all together. If you don't believe me then let's take a look at a few things.

First the whole shark attack epidemic from a few years ago. That's all they could talk about all summer long, about how viscous these attacks were and how many of there were. Okay first of all, THEY ARE SHARKS! What did you expect? A love tap? A little nibble? Guess what a gaping hole in the side of a person is a little nibble for a shark. And the media just couldn't seem to get this through their heads. Guess what, the sharks were doing what any other predatorial animal would do when hunting or protecting his home. But placing all this to side, the thing that pissed me off the most about the whole situation is the fact that there were LESS shark attacks that summer than the previous but because there was nothing else to report on they choose shark attack as then focus of the summer.

But what pisses me off even more is that the sheep of this nation just went along with it. All you would ever hear is "Stay out of the water." They are the type of people that believe that what ever the media says is the truth and the whole truth when in fact most of the time they are only telling part of the truth. So people avoid the water like it is the plague because this year they actually heard about the shark attacks.

Come on people form your own opinions or, here's a thought, look in to it yourself and find out the truth.

But shark attacks aside, let's move on to Katrina shall we. And I'm sure that I'll ruffle a few feathers with this one, but oh well I lived through part of it.

To start yes, I live in Mississippi, but no I didn't live on the coast (however I do have friends that live/lived there.) I live in Ridgeland which for those of you who don't know where it is, it's right out side of Jackson. I was one of the people that went without electricity and water in my case. And while I was one of the lucky ones and was one of first to have my electricity cut back on my parents were without for 2 weeks.

Now where was I..... Oh, yeah, the media's impact with Katrina. Where to start? First of all there is the media's portrayal of the government during this whole disaster. Not I'm not saying that everything was handled in the right manner, because let's face it, it wasn't. And don't begin to think that I'm all about the government and it does no wrong, because I'm not. But to say that the government is at fault because they didn't do anything before the hurricane is a bunch of crap. The government did exactly what it always does when a hurricane threatens; it gave a mandatory evacuation which means get out now or your ass is on your own until the storm is over. The people knew a hurricane 4/5 was on it's way and they choose to stay. (I do believe that if I'm told a hurricane 4/5 is on the way that I will find some way to leave.)

There was no way even remotely possible for anyone to know the amount of damage that would happen after Katrina hit. Not only did you have mass destruction on the coast and flooding in New Orleans, but you also had thousands of people without electric and water farther inland. And me tell you one thing Mississippi and Louisiana are HOT! Immediately after the storm the media began to blame the government for the destruction and bray them for not moving fast enough with help. First of all people like I said before there was no way to anticipate the amount of destruction before hand so isn't it possible that they didn't move "fast enough" because they didn't have any or enough people to help? Getting together that amount of aide takes time. And maybe instead of sitting there filming and reporting on the destruction, the media could have gotten off their asses to help. But hey what do I know?

All that to side, let's talk about the effect the media had on Jackson and gas. Now I don't know who or exactly what was said about gas or gas prices in Jackson but I believe it had something to do with someone reporting that there was a possibility of gas prices soaring or a gas shortage. After that one little comment the masses panicked and the was a gas shortage. Every where you looked there where signs that said "Out of Gas." And the stations with gas had lines that lasted for hours. All because someone in the media opened their mouth.

Now I know that if the mass populace didn't panic there wouldn't be problems but that is the problem. Individually people can be smart, but as a whole they are dumb as bricks. All it takes is one little spark of panic and the masses do just that. But it always seems that that little spark is stemmed in the media.

Now that I've had my little rant, let me set a few things straight. First of all, let me say that yes I feel sorry for most of the people in from New Orleans and the Coast. And let me add that I don't believe that the media is evil. But I definitely don't believe they are god either. And before anyone gets all pissed off and begins commenting about how backwards or whatever I am, let me add THESE ARE MY OPINIONS, not yours.

What to expect....(Warning)

2005-10-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

Just to give people a heads up before they begin reading, these are the opinions of my colleague and I. Some of these opinions may be based on fact and some may not, that's why they are called OPINIONS. So if you take offense or don't like what we have to say then DON'T READ IT. We are not forcing you to read it and we ARE entitled to our opinion (gotta love that first amendment). So there may be bad language and there may be thoughts that are off but get over it or get your own blog site and write what you want, this is ours so we will say what we wish. This being said, if you find this intriguing and wish to continue to browse our site, by all means do but remember we warned you if you get mad about something. And for those of you that find our rants and blogings funny, please feel free to chime if with the insanity and your opinions.

Syn and Havok